Redefining Success: Finding Your Inner Unicorn

We’re often taught to chase success as if it’s some sort of finish line—a shiny title, a big salary, or an impressive résumé. But what happens when we follow that path, and the destination doesn’t feel like success at all? That question led me on a journey of rethinking what success really means, which I shared in my talk *Finding Your Inner Unicorn* at the March 2024 women’s summit with Career Club DK. 

I’ve come to realize that success is not a one-size-fits-all concept. It’s deeply personal and should embrace our quirks, passions, and, yes, even our failures. It’s time to redefine what success looks like for each of us, on our own terms.

More Than a Job Title

How many of us, when asked “Who are you?”, respond with our job title? I’ve done it a thousand times. “I’m Judy, a recruitment specialist” or “I work in learning development.” But does that sum up who I am? Not even close.

The truth is, we are all so much more than our job titles. For example, I’m a recruitment specialist, yes—but I’m also a rock climber, scuba diver, and a dog mom. I’ve had the bizarre experience of being stalked by a dolphin, having once jumped ON a turtle (long story), I have ADHD (which means I could probably talk your ear off), I’m a polyglot who speaks more languages than I can count on one hand, and I have a thing for ducks. 

But most of all, I’m a unicorn. Not because I’m rare or magical, but because I, like you, am more than just one thing. I’m a collection of experiences, talents, quirks, and passions. We all are.

The Unicorn Inside Us All

Your inner unicorn is that unique blend of everything you are—the passions, the quirks, the experiences that set you apart. It’s easy to lose sight of that when the world tries to define you by your job, your title, or your paycheck. But being a unicorn means embracing all the facets of who you are, not just the ones that fit into a neat little box.

I had to learn this the hard way when I moved to Denmark. I came with a strong background, a ton of experience, and figured I’d find a job in no time. But interview after interview, I kept hearing the same thing: “You’re overqualified.” I wasn’t fitting into the neat little boxes employers had in mind, and after months of rejection, my confidence started to crack.

I applied for everything from HR roles to customer support and even tried stocking shelves at Netto. Still, it was always the same: “You don’t fit.” Whether I was too much or not enough, it was clear I didn’t belong where I thought I should be.

An Unexpected Turn

One day, after yet another round of rejections, I was walking my dog when I got caught in the middle of a downpour. Completely drenched, I stumbled into a little café—soaking wet, shivering, and desperate for some shelter. The place was cozy, with warm lights and a few friendly faces, and the owner struck up a conversation with me. 

She asked how I was doing, and in my soggy frustration, I half-jokingly asked if she knew of any jobs available. I didn’t expect her to say yes, but to my surprise, she told me she was actually looking for someone to wash dishes. Now, I’ll be honest—washing dishes is one of my least favorite things in the world. My sink at home is proof of that. But after eight months of job hunting, I was desperate, so I took the job.

At first, it felt like a defeat. How had I gone from managing an HR department to scrubbing pots in the back of a café? The thought rattled me for a while. But then, something surprising happened. As I washed dish after dish, I realized that I actually enjoyed it. Not the dishwashing itself, but the simplicity of it. I’d been so used to juggling complex, long-term projects that the idea of taking a dirty dish and, in five minutes, making it clean and done was...refreshing.

But it wasn’t all peace and dish soap. My new boss and I—well, let’s just say we clashed at first. She was organized to a fault, almost obsessive, and here I was, with my ADHD and spontaneous nature, feeling like we were complete opposites. For a while, I thought we might never see eye to eye. But as time passed, I realized that underneath it all, we had a lot to learn from each other. Now? I absolutely adore her. It just took a while for us to figure each other out.

The Duck and the Mud

Of course, nothing about this transition was easy. One moment in particular sticks with me—a moment when I felt like life was just having a good laugh at my expense. I had finished a long shift at the café, still feeling like I was in the wrong place, and decided to take a walk to clear my head. I was tired, frustrated, and unsure of what the future held.

That’s when I spotted a duck. Now, for some inexplicable reason, I decided that chasing this duck was exactly what I needed to do. It seemed like a good distraction—until I slipped and fell face-first into a puddle of thick Danish mud. I lay there, covered in muck, staring at the sky, wondering how my life had come to this.  

And then the duck just looked at me. It didn’t run or flap away. It just waddled by like I wasn’t even there, as if to say, “Yeah, that happened. What now?” 

That moment, ridiculous as it was, made me pause. Nothing had really changed—I was still in a job that wasn’t what I had planned, still far from my old career. But something clicked. Falling into the mud didn’t erase all that I had done before, just like washing dishes didn’t take away my skills. That duck didn’t care who I was or what job I had. And maybe I didn’t need to either.

Shifting Perspective

It’s funny how sometimes it takes literally falling into the mud to realize you’re not failing—you’re just on a different path. I hadn’t lost my skills or my experiences. I was still the same person who had led HR departments, jumped on turtles, and, yes, been stalked by a dolphin. 

Success isn’t always about reaching the next milestone or securing that dream job. Sometimes, it’s about embracing where you are right now—even if that means you’re covered in mud, chasing a duck. It’s about understanding that your worth doesn’t come from a title or a salary, but from who you are and what you’ve done.

The Space to Thrive

In fact, taking this job gave me something unexpected: TIME. Time to do the things I’d never had a chance to before. Suddenly, I had the flexibility to volunteer, to reconnect with an old friend and co-host a radio show together, and to finally accept a role on the board of Career Club DK—a place where I now mentor others and share what I’ve learned. I even have time to just be a friend, something I realized I’d been missing in my hectic, career-focused life. 

What started as a detour has turned into one of the most enriching experiences of my life. I discovered that success isn’t just about climbing higher. Sometimes, it’s about finding space to be the person you’ve always wanted to be, in ways that a corporate title never allowed.

Redefining Success

We all have moments in life where things don’t go as planned. Maybe you’re in a job that doesn’t feel like “success” or maybe you’re taking a break, wondering what’s next. But here’s what I’ve learned: no one can take away what you’ve already achieved, and you don’t need to fit into someone else’s definition of success.

Success isn’t about ticking off boxes on someone else’s list. It’s about living as your whole self—embracing your inner unicorn, even when you end up in unexpected places like a café kitchen or face-down in the mud. 

So, whatever stage you’re at, whether you’re navigating a career shift, staying home with your kids, or washing dishes like me, remember this: you are more than enough, just as you are. 

You are already successful.

Article By
Judy Hadas Cohen